Friday, August 28, 2009

LIFE ON ITS TRIAL VERSION!



I've sobbed; I've got drunk; have listened to the saddest songs; have been to the loneliest places and even soaked my pillow with tears until i realised that what we lack today is originality....Originality in what we think, what we do, and what we want. I believe the three most contradicting elements of a human mind are: Thinking, Acting and Wanting!
You and me have always tend to contradict what we think with what we do and what we do contradicts too! Ultimately we end up incongruiting what we want........And that's what makes me write this. Note that I've made a statement worth reading between the lines.
Six months back, I was a bubbly, boisterous college girl who wanted to have all the fun and still had big dreams in her eyes. All I wanted back then was Travel, Fashion, a Maybach and a Mansion! And perhaps the only way to grab it all was an MBA!
So the other day, along with my friends I started buying all the MBA forms. Full name, Address, Birth date and so on I kept filling all those forms easily until I reached a coloumn that asked about my dream, my aimbition and why I opted for an MBA.....And there went a BANG!
The feeling of emptiness in my mind ran through all my veins and got me shocked enough like a newly born baby who just opened his eyes to the entire world for the first time. I began to think what I wanted to be when I first thought of growing up and becoming something. As thoughts passed by I was left with quite a few options....a teacher when I was 6, an actress when I was 10, an astronomist when I was 13, a journalist when I was 15 and a writer when I was 17. I was following my heart and I was so focussed as a kid. But today, at 20, I couldn't think of any damn thing! What was lacking? Was it originality?
A couple of months passed by, I went through college farewells and proms and nights that felt really long.... and I went through the typical GDs and PIs and I ended up spending a few lakhs when I got selected for a renownwed B-school in Pune.
Life at the B-school was so restrictive and monotonous that I started losing my interest and patience. My life became very routine..mechanical you know...had my mornings pretty early....long days; short breaks.....dinner times followed by early nights...
Soon I started reading my favorite magazines during college breaks and writing articles during lectures. The lectures; the short breaks and the post dinner time soon began to emerge as the best parts of my day.
The picture was clear... I wanted to be a freelance writer and I wished this would've happened to me three months back when I was filling those MBA forms and yes I did regret my decisions deeply.
Another BANG! I felt I'm totally out of place, with people who couldn't understand me and I realized that I don't belong to a B-school. But stepping back now was no alternative. So I decided to implement my 3As formula: Adjust; Accept and Appreciate! I decided to work harder towards my real goal. I kept reading books; magazines and I even started my blog on the internet. It felt like I have already climbed up the first ladder of what I wanted to be. I soon started google searching about professional writing skills and the courses offered. I decided to choose vague topics to write on. Every weekend I would sit with a cup of hot mocha and write something that came to my mind. I decided to take up a course on media and writing as soon as I finish with MBA. I'm thinking what I want; and I'm doing what I want.
I've never felt so focussed and clear in my life before. I realised that answers to all the questions of our mind lies within ourselves...our heart to be precise! We just need to dig out and match up what we want with what we do and what we think....And all the things then fall at their right places on the right time. Listen to what your heart says....talk to your ownself and choose the right thing...the thing that makes your heart smile....and you'll never have to regret a decision in your life...
The reason behind the emptiness of my mind was I lacked originality in what I thought, what I did and what I've always wanted.

Avanika Mote.
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AV's Avilicious by Avanika Mote is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License.

11 comments:

y_belle said...

awesome babe... u have already given a tribute to coll... :)but atleast u found ur true calling...
go for it !! i say...
yashita

Avanika said...

Hey thanks a tonne yashita....Thanks for the support babe!
And yeah...you're the first person to comment over this....! That makes me feel really special. I found my true calling but unfortunately at a wrong time!
Lets not play the blame game with destiny here..I'm sure when one door has closed; the other one will open! The point is when!?
Luv n regards,
Avanika

abhinav said...

some fantabulous piece of work sweetheart....remember rohit's punch line....lol..
seriously after a long time i can no longer say that IIMM is ruining your brain.

In this bitter twist of fate, you know that help will come too late so better be going with your own stuff.......keep it coming avi..you rock babe.

Avanika said...

Thanks abhinav. Every day,I open my blog with much eagerness and to find such comments is like a reward for my thirsty curiosity.
Keep visiting and drop-in a comment so that I know you visited. Would love to have your views on evrything on this blog (and that includes even the font color!!)
Regards and luv,
Avanika.

Amar Gautam said...

I happened to visit this blog by a great chance (though I will not disclose what it is). I found that most of the readers here are college going kids. So considering this fact, I will post something important to be a successful human being.

There are 5 most important Ds in my life -
Dream, Desire, Discipline, Determination & Dedication. The catch here is that these are sequential in its occurrence.

How to go about it -
First you dream and only when you have a dream, you desire. There is an old saying - Desire only when you deserve. To bring in the deserve factor, you need other 3 Ds -Discipline, Determination and Dedication. If you have all other 4 Ds, you can realize your dream.

Now the question is how to search your dream. This is the trivia. When I was in college days and use to hold personality development workshops, I always asked my students, "What is your dream?" The worst part ever was 99% of them could not tell me what their dream was. And this was the problem. If you do not know your dreams, you do not know yourself. For me a dream could be to send my Mom & Dad for a fortnight to Europe. Now to realize this dream, MBA could be a channel. As Avanika stated she wanted a mansion. And she was right in her thoughts that MBA could make her realize her dream.

The most important part of all this is that you got to stick to your dream. You lose focus, you lose your dream.

Understanding oneself is the greatest thing in this world. So keep up your spirits high and dream big, day dream and make castles in the air. But do not forget the other 4 Ds. One day you will realize your dream and you will be the happiest person on the face of this earth.

“Live your dreams” is motto of my life.

Avanika said...

Truly sir.
But to my surprise, i found that out of the 5Ds you mentioned, three of 'em are in the logo of my B-school - Discipline; Determination and Dedication and I guess many such b-schools, institutions and not to mention, our parents would follow that. No one talks about dreaming and desiring here. When a 10-year old boy talks about being an F1 racer, no one will ever motivate him. And there we go!! It is quite obvious how 99% students go blank when they're asked about their dreams.
The truth is no one tells them to dream big, desire something that is out of their way. But when they're being interviewed, they will be attacked with questions like "what's your dream?" and "why is it so?"
My point is straight here. Whenever we're asked about this, we've always manipulated our answers to what the society wants to hear. We have stabbed our heart and have killed our dreams. This article is exactly about motivating people to listen to their heart and to let their heart smile.
And I consider myself very lucky to have found my true calling today 'cause I believe its never too late to make your heart smile!
Cheers!

prerna said...

you've spelt the experiences of so many individuals so beutifully.i only wish that people realise that they have one life to fulfill their dream.....and guys life wil never give you a second chance......never never....grab wht you get coz the world is full of of people who have'nt got their loaf of bread for years and will do anything to snap at you.there is no point sitting in an iit and slogging ur ass off when probably all you've wanted to do all ur life was b a fashion designer or a hair stylist....or a delivery boy......or a gardner.or fly a plane..........its not the job tht you to tht is big or small .its ur attitude tht makes it wht it is...you cant do something you never wanted to and just because some person pressurises you to fulfill their unfulfilled dreams........its ur life and you need to make it.i pity the parents of students who have committed suicide even after scoring badly....if only they had for once tried to know "is this wht our child actually wants."?after all would'nt it be better if he/she was happy being an average student rather than not being there at all..........wake up guys its ur turn to realize dreams now.....and someday thank "avanika mote"for pursuing you to do so....i just did

cookie said...

hmmm i can smell some boyfriend influence here???? lol i love it. i love everything related to self realisation

Sahithi Pallavi said...

Good! Awesome posts Avanika. :)
I am Glad to visit your blog.

Honey Surana said...

This the best post uptill now as i am going backwards,......This is like the mantra now.....INNER CALLING.....amazing piece of work....Your reply to Mr. Amar Gautam is the perfect example of the huge generation gap that we face......really inspired/......Thanx a tonne for sharing.....
Just imagine the coincidence......we met at roll house after ages and then the next day we spend two hours talking at roll house both of us bunking lectures....I wouldnt have come across this amazing intellect if that dint happen.....I just finished the CELESTINE PROPHECY.... And this is wat it talks about.....It says that chance encounters do not exist.....Every person you meet and every situation you come across has a coded message fot you and your task is to decode it........
Honey Surana...Cheers...

Avanika said...

I read all your comments, Honey. Thanks for all your feedbacks. This comment appealed to me the most and thats the reason I chose it to reply.

I am happy you understand the generation gap and the cause and effects of what's been going on with the youth today. CELESTINE PROPHECY sounds a must-read from what you have described. I would also recommend "The Seat of the Soul" by Gary Zukav.

Thanks for sharing your insights.

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