I've sobbed; I've got drunk; have listened to the saddest songs; have been to the loneliest places and even soaked my pillow with tears until i realised that what we lack today is originality....Originality in what we think, what we do, and what we want. I believe the three most contradicting elements of a human mind are: Thinking, Acting and Wanting!
You and me have always tend to contradict what we think with what we do and what we do contradicts too! Ultimately we end up incongruiting what we want........And that's what makes me write this. Note that I've made a statement worth reading between the lines.
Six months back, I was a bubbly, boisterous college girl who wanted to have all the fun and still had big dreams in her eyes. All I wanted back then was Travel, Fashion, a Maybach and a Mansion! And perhaps the only way to grab it all was an MBA!
So the other day, along with my friends I started buying all the MBA forms. Full name, Address, Birth date and so on I kept filling all those forms easily until I reached a coloumn that asked about my dream, my aimbition and why I opted for an MBA.....And there went a BANG!
The feeling of emptiness in my mind ran through all my veins and got me shocked enough like a newly born baby who just opened his eyes to the entire world for the first time. I began to think what I wanted to be when I first thought of growing up and becoming something. As thoughts passed by I was left with quite a few options....a teacher when I was 6, an actress when I was 10, an astronomist when I was 13, a journalist when I was 15 and a writer when I was 17. I was following my heart and I was so focussed as a kid. But today, at 20, I couldn't think of any damn thing! What was lacking? Was it originality?
A couple of months passed by, I went through college farewells and proms and nights that felt really long.... and I went through the typical GDs and PIs and I ended up spending a few lakhs when I got selected for a renownwed B-school in Pune.
Life at the B-school was so restrictive and monotonous that I started losing my interest and patience. My life became very routine..mechanical you know...had my mornings pretty early....long days; short breaks.....dinner times followed by early nights...
Soon I started reading my favorite magazines during college breaks and writing articles during lectures. The lectures; the short breaks and the post dinner time soon began to emerge as the best parts of my day.
The picture was clear... I wanted to be a freelance writer and I wished this would've happened to me three months back when I was filling those MBA forms and yes I did regret my decisions deeply.
Another BANG! I felt I'm totally out of place, with people who couldn't understand me and I realized that I don't belong to a B-school. But stepping back now was no alternative. So I decided to implement my 3As formula: Adjust; Accept and Appreciate! I decided to work harder towards my real goal. I kept reading books; magazines and I even started my blog on the internet. It felt like I have already climbed up the first ladder of what I wanted to be. I soon started google searching about professional writing skills and the courses offered. I decided to choose vague topics to write on. Every weekend I would sit with a cup of hot mocha and write something that came to my mind. I decided to take up a course on media and writing as soon as I finish with MBA. I'm thinking what I want; and I'm doing what I want.
I've never felt so focussed and clear in my life before. I realised that answers to all the questions of our mind lies within ourselves...our heart to be precise! We just need to dig out and match up what we want with what we do and what we think....And all the things then fall at their right places on the right time. Listen to what your heart says....talk to your ownself and choose the right thing...the thing that makes your heart smile....and you'll never have to regret a decision in your life...
The reason behind the emptiness of my mind was I lacked originality in what I thought, what I did and what I've always wanted.
Avanika Mote.
AV's Avilicious by Avanika Mote is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License.
