LIFE ON ITS TRIAL VERSION!

I've sobbed; I've got drunk; have listened to the saddest songs; have been to the loneliest places and even soaked my pillow with tears until i realised that what we lack today is originality....Originality in what we think, what we do, and what we want. I believe the three most contradicting elements of a human mind are: Thinking, Acting and Wanting!
You and me have always tend to contradict what we think with what we do and what we do contradicts too! Ultimately we end up incongruiting what we want........And that's what makes me write this. Note that I've made a statement worth reading between the lines.
Six months back, I was a bubbly, boisterous college girl who wanted to have all the fun and still had big dreams in her eyes. All I wanted back then was Travel, Fashion, a Maybach and a Mansion! And perhaps the only way to grab it all was an MBA!
So the other day, along with my friends I started buying all the MBA forms. Full name, Address, Birth date and so on I kept filling all those forms easily until I reached a coloumn that asked about my dream, my aimbition and why I opted for an MBA.....And there went a BANG!
The feeling of emptiness in my mind ran through all my veins and got me shocked enough like a newly born baby who just opened his eyes to the entire world for the first time. I began to think what I wanted to be when I first thought of growing up and becoming something. As thoughts passed by I was left with quite a few options....a teacher when I was 6, an actress when I was 10, an astronomist when I was 13, a journalist when I was 15 and a writer when I was 17. I was following my heart and I was so focussed as a kid. But today, at 20, I couldn't think of any damn thing! What was lacking? Was it originality?
A couple of months passed by, I went through college farewells and proms and nights that felt really long.... and I went through the typical GDs and PIs and I ended up spending a few lakhs when I got selected for a renownwed B-school in Pune.
Life at the B-school was so restrictive and monotonous that I started losing my interest and patience. My life became very routine..mechanical you know...had my mornings pretty early....long days; short breaks.....dinner times followed by early nights...
Soon I started reading my favorite magazines during college breaks and writing articles during lectures. The lectures; the short breaks and the post dinner time soon began to emerge as the best parts of my day.
The picture was clear... I wanted to be a freelance writer and I wished this would've happened to me three months back when I was filling those MBA forms and yes I did regret my decisions deeply.
Another BANG! I felt I'm totally out of place, with people who couldn't understand me and I realized that I don't belong to a B-school. But stepping back now was no alternative. So I decided to implement my 3As formula: Adjust; Accept and Appreciate! I decided to work harder towards my real goal. I kept reading books; magazines and I even started my blog on the internet. It felt like I have already climbed up the first ladder of what I wanted to be. I soon started google searching about professional writing skills and the courses offered. I decided to choose vague topics to write on. Every weekend I would sit with a cup of hot mocha and write something that came to my mind. I decided to take up a course on media and writing as soon as I finish with MBA. I'm thinking what I want; and I'm doing what I want.
I've never felt so focussed and clear in my life before. I realised that answers to all the questions of our mind lies within ourselves...our heart to be precise! We just need to dig out and match up what we want with what we do and what we think....And all the things then fall at their right places on the right time. Listen to what your heart says....talk to your ownself and choose the right thing...the thing that makes your heart smile....and you'll never have to regret a decision in your life...
The reason behind the emptiness of my mind was I lacked originality in what I thought, what I did and what I've always wanted.

Avanika Mote.

AV's Avilicious by Avanika Mote is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License.

TIME OUT WITH MYSELF

It’s a bright Sunday morning and I have been listening to all my favourite soundtracks since last night and I have been thinking several things and now that I’m here with this journal, my thoughts are all set to express.

So I was just thinking how could I help people; how could I reach someone; that someone who might be alone or who might have lost a loved one to death or separation; to someone who is having financial problem…when debts are high and earnings are low…to someone who works hard for his living and progress seems to be slow…to someone who has got problems involving themselves.

Basically what I’ve figured out is that we are always in one of these three possible states- we are either going into a storm, in a storm or coming out of a storm. I believe God uses these three states of life to teach us few things about ourselves.

When we enter a storm or rather when a storm enters our life the winds of change starts to blow and the skies get cloudy and grey just like the sense of worry sets in when we realise that we really don’t have any control. We are filled with an evil helplessness as we fight with our own selves. We try to fight for our happiness in the most sorrowful realities…the fight which seems nothing more than a vain attempt as life throws us unforeseen events we cannot plan for.

And when we are in a storm when the wind is blowing and the rain mixed with evil lightening represents those times…the times of deepest loses, our greatest needs, and our vulnerability and weakness is exposed through all the pains and suffering. It is during these storms when we need or remember God… these times of high tribulations when we discover a need for higher power and provide for us help us out or even expect a miracle.

When I have gone through such a storm in my life I have decided that life is worth fighting for… I have realised that I am a child of God and, therefore, worthy of all that is already mine by the rights of divinity.

I have realised that I wasn’t born for sorrow. I have realised that I wasn’t born to be a doormat for others to wipe their feet on. I wasn’t born to infect my own body with toxicity that’s going to take me outside myself.

I wasn’t to be used and then buried… I wasn’t born for any of that. But I was born to glorify God and live a happy and abundant life… and if I am not living that way, it is simply because at some point of time I fell down. But I didn’t consider it my failure because failure isn’t when you fall down; its when you when you don’t stand up again… I believe God has a purpose for me and that I am born to live and that is a life of purpose- a life of happiness and abundance.

So now I guess I’ve reached that someone through these thoughts

And if you have, in any point of your life, experienced to be in storm remember…

This is your time….the time of your life…know that you are both the creator and the created… you are already what you are trying to be… you are life experiencing itselef!!

Avanika Mote.

AV's Avilicious by Avanika Mote is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License.